


Wouldn't It Be Nice

by Cherikella



Category: Cherik - Fandom, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Divorce, Dragneto, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik and Raven are besties, Erik is the nanny of his kids, Falling In Love, Honestly Erik what are you thinking, M/M, Mrs. Doubtfire - Freeform, dadneto, farse, seriously what am i writing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:45:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6886156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik Lehnsherr is having a hard time accepting his divorce with Magda. The worst part of it all is that he cant' see his children - Wanda and Pietro - and he misses them too much. So he comes up with a crazy idea to be close to them - he decides to dress up as a woman so that his ex-wife hires him to be his own children's new nanny! Erik's best friend Raven helps all the way with the transformation but things really go crazy once Erik meets Magda's lovely new assistant Charles who also turns out to be Raven's brother...</p><p>Basically Dadneto and Dragneto all in one ;) I hope you enjoy :D<br/>P.S. This fanfic is inspired by Mrs. Doubtfire (1993). I hope I can make it work :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wouldn't It Be Nice

It’s been 8 months since he and Magda got the divorce and he still hated it. He hated being single, he hated not having his family, he hated that he couldn’t cook them breakfast every morning. But most of all he hated not seeing his children. Pietro and Wanda were growing up so fast and he just knew that 2 visits a month could never be enough for him. He needed more. He needed his children, he missed them terribly.

Unfortunately Magda was not willing to negotiate the terms. Magda was not willing to take him back either. It all happened so unnaturally fast – almost as fast as it had began – that Erik still wasn’t quite sure what caused their separation. All he knew was that one moment Magda was yelling at him for letting the kids have a party with clowns and balloons in the house when she explicitly told them not to, the next moment Magda wasn’t screaming anymore, Magda was filing for a divorce.

And now he was stuck with lousy 2 visits a month.

“We miss you, daddy…” Wanda told him, her eyes big round and watery. He felt his heart ache

“I know, Schatz, I miss you too. Both of you.” he pulled them back into a hug.

”Mummy’s not talking bad things about you.” Pietro chirped in “Maybe if you say you’re really really sorry and buy her flowers and chocolates, she’ll forgive you and take you back. It's what they do in movies.”

The innocent hope in the little boy’s eyes was really touching but Erik knew pretty well that things weren’t this easy. He had tried to save his marriage – he did everything he could – but Magda seemed to really not want him anymore. She didn’t even give a proper explanation. Maybe she got tired of him acting like the housewife. Maybe she was pissed because she was the one earning the money and he was the one taking care of the kids at home. Maybe she got tired of his weird hobby of making metal toys and making them move by using hidden magnets. The kids loved those! But Magda said they were just taking space. Whatever the reason, Magda had enough of him and there was nothing left for him to do but to accept her decision. Even if it broke him completely.

“Your mummy is a good woman, Pietro, but she doesn’t want me back.” He confessed. It wasn’t an easy thing to say to one’s kids. He sighed “I’m really sorry I screwed up, guys.”

They wrapped their arms around him again, holding him tight. “We love you, daddy!” they said “You’re not a screw up” Pietro added “No matter what grandma says.”

Erik nodded slowly. Of course “ _grandma_ “ would call him a screw up and in front of his kids. He suppressed an eye roll and looked at his former home. Magda was standing at the door frame, waiting for him to stop hugging the kids and let them go to her. Time’s up, Erik Lehnsherr, your kids are yours only every second Tuesday.

He sighed and reluctantly released Wanda and Pietro from his embrace.

“I love you, guys!” he said, forcing the tears back. “Be good and listen to your mama, okay? See you in two weeks!”

They waved him goodbye and went inside the house.

“Two days a month is not enough, Magda.” Erik said in low voice when they were alone in front of the house.

“It’s not my decision, Erik, it was the judge’s decision” Magda replied coldly, crossing her arms on her chest. Her defensive position, he knew that well. She expected a fight, or maybe a scene. Erik was too tired for that.  

“Okay… but how about this! You’re working all day, sometimes you’re even working during the weekends…”

“You can’t have the kids, Erik, you can’t keep a job for more than a week!” she interrupted

“I know! I’m working on that. But hear me out! You work so much, you need a nanny for the kids. A stranger – she could be a psychopath for all we know! – to stay with them and raise them and take care of them… I could do that!”

She grimaced. “What?”  

“I could be your nanny!” Erik grinned widely.

Magda stared at him as if the image was something out of her most terrifying nightmare. “You’re joking, right?”

“Not at all…”

“So you basically want to stay home, cook for the kids, take care of the house, help with homework, play with them, make sure they’re okay, take care of them and be here, in my house, every single day?”

“It’s what a nanny does.”

“It’s what _you_ used to do!”

“Exactly! So you know I’m qualified!”

He smiled again in hope to soften her up. It was a really long shot but he had to try.

“I divorced you so that I don’t see you every day!” she snapped “If you’re the nanny, it would be the same it’s been for the last 10 years!”

Erik waited a few seconds in case she had something else to add. 

“So that’s a no then…?” Erik made one final effort

“Yes, that’s a no!!!” she almost yelled

Erik let out a loud breath. “Come on, Magda, Mags, please…”

“Don’t call me Mags.”  

He bit his lip. “Right. Fine. I won’t. But I miss them. And I know they miss me.” She knew he was right. It was written all over her face that she was aware of it. And yet she seemed determined to disagree. He went on. “The kids and I were practically inseparable ever since they were born. This is 9  years, Magda. 9 years they’ve been with me, I feed them, wash them, read them stories, teach them to read and play ball, play with them and their toys…”

“That’s exactly it, Erik! You’re always playing!” she interrupted and now he could see that she was hurt too. “You play with them and when I got back home tired from work, asking for some quiet time and what do I get? You playing with them! And then I’m the bad guy for ruining the game! I’m always the bad guy with you around!” she threw her hands in the air “I’m tired of being the bad guy, Erik! And I’m tired of you always acting like a child yourself!” she closed her eyes for a moment. “You were always there for them, Erik. I know that. I know you love them and they love you too and this is great! But you weren’t there for _me_. And I needed you too, Erik… I needed you so much and you were just… playing with the children!”

“Magda, I—“

“I don’t mean to blame you, or turn you into a villain here.” She sighed exasperated. “You know I don’t want that. You’re a wonderful father, Erik.” She bobbed her head at him. “I’m not denying that. You really are a wonderful father. But you’re a sucky husband.”

It took him a moment to manage to open his mouth to speak. Magda shook her head with a wordless plead and got inside the house, leaving Erik at the doorstep.  

—«·»—

“It was horrible, Raven, it was simply horrible!” he wined, having another beer.

“Well, duh! Of course it was. Those kids are your life.” Raven replied, drinking the last few drops of her own beer and refilling on popcorn.

Beer and popcorn with Raven was his new thing these last months. Raven was kind enough to be his rock when he was going through his divorce and the terrors of only seeing his beloved kids twice a month.

“You’re a good friend, Raven.” Erik said, resting his head on the arm of the couch, letting his eyes shut for a moment.

“Oi! Don’t fall asleep on my couch!” Raven slapped him on the side. “We’re friends but I don’t want to listen to your snoring all night long.”

Erik sighed. “Maybe that’s why Magda divorced me, I snore too much.” he said

“Ha-ha. I assure you that’s not the reason.” Raven rolled her eyes.

“Why then?” he looked up at her from the arm of the couch like a puppy. 

“Because she’s a b!tch.” Raven blurted out before she could stop herself.

“She said I wasn’t there for her. She said I was a sucky husband.” Erik added with a heavy heart.

He didn’t want to admit it but Magda’s words had cut him deeply. Even though his love for her had already kind of faded, he still hoped they could both remember their life together fondly. It was 12 years and damn it, he really didn’t want to be a sucky husband! That didn’t sound good at all!

“She’s impossible to please” Raven shrugged. “You’re a good man, a great dad, funny, reliable, gorgeous – let’s not deny it! – you’re practically awesome.”

“Are you proposing to me?” Erik said just so that he doesn’t feel embarrassed by all the praise.

Raven pushed him gently. “In your dreams, Erik Lehnsherr. You’re not my type. I like my men more… raw.”

“Raw? Seriously?” they both laughed “I’m pretty raw!”

“Thanks, but no thanks. You’re more my brother’s type than mine.” She tilted her head thoughtfully 

“Hmm, your brother single?” Erik asked, furrowing his brow with mock-concentration

“My brother’s not gonna be your rebound relationship!” Raven said in her big sister voice, although they both knew she was the younger sibling.

“I don’t need a rebound, I need a family.” Erik sighed “I’m trying to adjust, Raven, I really am but it’s so f*cking hard!”

Raven saddened. Seeing Erik so broken for the last year was not easy on her either. They’ve been friends for a while now and she really liked Erik, he was a great guy, he was like a brother to her. She truly hoped he’d get through this whole mess with as little emotional damage as possible.

“Family’s overrated.” She said, trying to cheer up the mood a bit “For example, my family sucks." it sounded so matter-of-factly as if she was making a remark on the weather. "The only good thing about my family is my big brother. And I hardly ever see him now.”

“Yeah… Even I haven’t met him yet.” Erik frowned “It must be really hard for you not seeing him more often…”

She shrugged. “You get used to sucky stuff.”

Erik looked at her for one long moment, then he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, Raven” he said quietly “You’re my best friend and I love you.”

She smiled and hugged him back, rubbing his shoulder a little. “Okay, okay, calm down, Erika. No chick flick moments.” She chuckled

He let her go and laughed again. The two continued with their drinking.

“You’re so insensitive!” Erik joked “And did you just call me _Erika_!?”

“Oops? You’re gonna kill me now, aren’t you?”

“Yes, with metal toys.”

They both laughed hysterically. It wasn’t even that funny, Erik’s mind faintly registered. Maybe they just had too much to drink. Or maybe it was their way of coping with the problems life threw at them. But it was a fact that whenever Raven and Erik got together – and that happened pretty often now – they always end up laughing hysterically. It was mental. Erik should probably be concerned about it. But instead he was grateful to have his best friend.

They laughed until Erik started choking and gasping for air, which happened to cause more laughter until finally they managed to slowly calm down.

“You know… Erika might not be that bad…” Erik said thoughtfully.

“Are you discovering a whole new part of your personality right now?” Raven raised an eyebrow “Cause I support you no matter what, my friend.”

Erik ignored her. “Raven! I’ve got the best idea ever!” he blurted out excitedly

“I’m listening.” Raven furrowed her brow in concentration.

“I’ll be my kids’ new nanny!” Erik announced, putting the beer bottle down.

“No, you’re not. You’re their dad. And Magda turned you down already.”

It was probably a mistake to try to explain the elaborate idea to Raven when she was this drunk but the equally drunk Erik could not really understand that right now. So he continued.

“No, I’m not gonna be me… I’m gonna be her! I’m gonna be Erika… and she’s gonna be Wanda and Pietro’s nanny… Magda won’t mind that.”

Raven blinked for a moment and then grinned “That makes total sense. You should totally do it!”

“I know right!? Let's drink to that!”

“Yeah!” she yelled excitedly and she poked Erik with her index finger a few times. “You. Are. A. Genius.”

“Thank you!” Erik nodded with a hazy grin “I really am!”

—«·»—

The next morning Erik woke up with a hangover and mascara on his face.

“What the--?” he mumbled when he his reflection in the bathroom mirror but then it all came back to him.

Erika… What an idea! Erika… As if he could fool anyone like that, especially Magda! Erika…

“Well, hello, there, Mrs. Lehnsherr. I’m Erika Magnus, your new nanny. Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” he said to the mirror jokingly in an attempt to sound like a woman. He then frowned and tried the same but a bit more feminine. “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am. Are these your lovely children?” and even a bit more feminine “I love children and yours seem so lovely, so good, so… so…” there was a tear, sliding down his cheek. His hand quickly wiped it away as he continued fooling around in front of the mirror. “Taking care of children is what I do best, Mrs. Lehnsherr. I’d love to be their nanny. If you let me, I’ll love them as my own…” he saddened again. “… my own…” he repeated quietly in his own voice.

The bathroom door flung open and Raven glared at him. “How many years does it take for  you to pee, Erik? I’m waiting here!”

He turned towards her. “Raven, I’ve decided to do it.”

She raised her hand to her face, showing him her palm. “I really don’t wanna know what you’ve decided to do in my bathroom, just let me use it soon, okay?”

“Not your bathroom, Raven, the nanny thing!” he said, taking both Raven’s hands in his

“The nanny…?” her face slowly lit up as she remembered their drunken ramblings from last nigth. “You mean that ridiculous thing we joked about before we both passed out?”

“Yes!” Erik nodded enthusiastically 

Raven blinked at him a few times. “You’re insane.” she announced. 

“I’m desperate.” he corrected

“You need to get laid.” She insisted 

“I don’t care about that, I care about seeing my children! ... Raven, you know what I feel. I can’t go on like that. I tried, I just can’t!... If I don’t see them, I’ll really go crazy.”

She rolled her eyes, still holding his hands. “What do you expect me to say? Give permission to pretend to be a woman, lie to your ex-wife and become your kids’ nanny?”

“It’d be good to have my best friend’s emotional support” Erik smiled a bit sheepishly and then added with a certain doze of hesitation “And also it’d be nice if you… you know… help me find the right _look.”_

“You want me to turn you into a woman!?” Raven gaped

“As a theater person you should be excited at the opportunity to transform someone completely.”

Disguises were kinda her thing... and it was really a tempting challenge in a strange unusual way... and it was for a good cause... Erik realized Raven actually started considering this! He couldn’t believe his own luck! Only his best friend would ever support him in this lunacy! He truly appreciated it.

“If I make you wear lots of scarfs to hide your neck, fix your makeup, put on a wig, a dress… and ooh! What if I make you a prosthetic mask?”

“A what?”

“… and a bit of curves here and there and, of course, we have to do something about those shoulders!”

“My shoulders!?” Erik frowned confused but Raven payed no attention to his words. She was already far too gone, planning what could be done to turn Erik into the perfect nanny.


End file.
